tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22528086434330748682023-11-16T02:10:10.751-05:00restless alliterationkisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-58559327145623092382012-11-01T19:29:00.006-04:002012-11-01T19:37:48.297-04:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;">"i'm restless. things are calling me away. my hair is being pulled by the stars again."</span><br />
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"></span><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span style="font-size: small; letter-spacing: 0.0px;">anais nin</span></div>
kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-70820918084587408612011-12-03T11:04:00.001-05:002011-12-05T08:45:45.401-05:00Collaborationi recently reconnected with a friend that I knew online like 10-12 years ago. We used to write on a hiphop message board and would collab on pieces to spark inspiration. Over the last few years we lost touch, but we jumped back in to our sharing mode and it has been a little blessing in my exhausted little life.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">*****TERIYAKI (music: Wax Tailor - Seize the Day)</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Heat mixed with gravity pulls me down magically</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">oceanic majesty as I swim so free across her naked sea</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">schools of fish agree guiding my gliding like giant sea turtles diving</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">below the depths bubbles of breath escaping to the heavens like lightning</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">as i go deeper I can feel my chest tightening ... then I exhale!</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">and release floating across vast valleys of coral reef..</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">*****KISA</span><br />
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">jupiter moons bring her closer</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">swinging wide she finds who sent her</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">tiny bits of sand and dreams</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">memories and candid streams</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">of laughter.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">his purple haze swims around him like love</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">vibrating in cadence with the oceans hum</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">unfolding with the free universe as one</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">collective dancing spirit</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">in laughter.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">*****TERIYAKI</span><br />
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1">brushstrokes across the skin paint the mood with candlelight</span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1">burgundy shades of jazz discharging spirits of delight</span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1">her licentious intentions snatch my ghost deep from within</span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1">entrancing me in rapture boiling blood through my skin</span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1">but I exhibit only peace as the beast finds release </span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1">hearts skipping beats on damp silky smooth sheets</span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1">and the skies up above are colored red like juiced beets</span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1">cascading upon hot flesh forcing steam to retreat</span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1">and the sibilation of breath is the only sound left</span><br />
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1">*****KISA</span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1">lying languid like an open peony heavy with dew </span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1">trapped in a lush moment of stillness and magic and you.</span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1">the room is filled with binaural rhythms of silent poetry,</span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1">a quiet so soft, the words are all lost</span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1">drifting between the rise and fall of your breath and the sea.</span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1">freedom lives between the letters that make up the sound of words</span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1">naked space plays in the heat and the lust and the unheard.</span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1">cosmic shifts, consciousness and constantness builds eleven perfectly wet breaths that count beyond time and capture a sublime understanding of now</span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1">and this...this stardust found. </span></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p4">
<span class="s1">give me more, wrap me up in a storm of alliteration, third eye visions and inspirations. my senses are full of a dying season, i’m craving island rains that pour like needles on flesh, skies full of painted sex, breezes so heavy with mood you can’t deny the esoteric quintet passing by. i’m starved, longing for the wordspun illusion of creative worth, an eccentric vedic rebirth of my imagination. </span></div>
<div class="p4">
<br /></div>
<div class="p3">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p4">
******TERIYAKI<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">... enlightening my soul in an age of blackness</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">as I spin around waiting for lucidity to slither free</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">and winds unfold timid petals waiting to be kindled</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">spicy dew moistened stigma . .so delicately bindled</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">pulsating signals of ambrosial liquids like syrup on lips</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">dancing like moonlight over galleys on forgotten pirate ships</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">lick my fingers after flipping through your perfect pages as I</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">trampoline bouncing off stars somersaulting weightless</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">lost in a moment forever frozen in stained glass ... break this</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">till then I'll orbit melancholia with a doom accepted facelift</span><br />
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">******TERIYAKI</span><br />
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">simply amazing grace profounds my inner being</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">to seeing spotlit tints dancing on my silent ceiling</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">kaleidoscopes of memories that light my soul aflame</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">those amazing moments with strangers you'll never forget</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">but can't remember their name</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">the beauty of genuine friendship that grows like seedlings to redwoods</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">strength combined with love and affection so easily understood</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">our souls are like rice paper, carefully tread upon</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">but the imprints left behind are so delicately beautiful</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">like ones reflection in ponds</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">the child that lives inside our eyes, the windows forever open as when we were born</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">simply a pebble on our path to enlightenment, riding on the backs of the forlorn...</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p5">
<span class="s3">******KISA (music: Yusef Lateef - Like It Is)</span><br />
<span class="s3"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">its like it is...</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">slow movements of depressed motion</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">deep like percussion begging for slighted devotion</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">fingered reality plays with melancholy strings and reeds</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">while my traumatic week unwinds</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">laying littered in the peripheral, I readjust my mental tides.</span><br />
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">its like it is...</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">and its hard to find a moment to linger for myself</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I wrap my focus around emergencies, broken dreams </span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">and how not be an asshole.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">id rather escape than create</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">id rather imagine wings of freedom </span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">than dive into the abyss that exists in my mind.</span><br />
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">it is like it is...</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">but</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">the words shared are beautiful and felt</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">floating around a dark room,</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">bumping into breaths that swell,</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">tickles and whispers like bursts of sweet in a sour gloom.</span><br />
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">it is like it is....</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">and the invisible thread, the spider silk </span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">that connects souls plays on the wind like guilt</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">catching sunshine, honest rhymes and bits of time</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">that you thought you’d lost along the way.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">and as i read between the lines</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">the gratitude blooms like perfection...</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">reverberation divine....</span><br />
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">its like it is...</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">and out of my need to not hurt feelings</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I am writing.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I am trying.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I am breathing that breath that tastes like </span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">need.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">a need repressed that stretches the seams</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">of my emotion.</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">a need to express</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">a need to connect through words</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">a need to realign my spirit </span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">with likeminded verb bandits</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">and reality bending starlets.</span><br />
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">It is like it is,</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">and I thank you</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">for the reprieve</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">and love you</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">for inspiring the need.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span></div>kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-37700281160004441702011-11-18T22:38:00.001-05:002011-11-18T23:04:37.183-05:00Zack de la Rocha on OWS<br />
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">“This poem is dedicated to the Occupy movement whose courage is changing the world. Stay Strong. We are winning.” - <b>Zack de la Rocha</b></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">The beginning spills through city veins</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Into the arteries</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">And under powers poison clouds</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">We move like the shadows</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Through the alley ways</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Through nightmares bought and sold as dreams</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Through barren factories</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Through boarded schools</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Through rotting fields</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Through the burning doors of the past</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Through imaginations exploding</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">To break the curfews in our minds</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><br /></span><br />
<span class="s1">Our actions awaken dreams of actions multiplied</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">A restless fury</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Once buried like burning embers</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Left alone to smolder</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">But together stacked under the walls of a dying order</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">All sparks are counted</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Calloused hands raised in silence</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Over the bonfire of hope unincorporated</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">It's flame restores tomorrows meaning</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Across the graveyards of hollow promises</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">As gold dipped vultures pick at what is left of our denial</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><br /></span><br />
<span class="s1">And the youngest among us</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Stare at us stoned like eyes determined</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">And say</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Death for us may come early</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Cause dignity has no price</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">At the corner of now and nowhere</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Anywhere</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Everywhere</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Tomorrow is calling</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Tomorrow is calling</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Do not be afraid</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1">
*I have been waiting to hear his take on things and I can't even lie, I cried a little*</div>
<div class="p1">
<br /></div>
<div class="p1">
Zack was fundamental in the removal of my blinders all those years ago, listening to my japanese version of the RATM album on headphones in my rack underway in the pacific. Over the last 20 years (almost) my ears would hear new things, pick up on bits I missed, re-inspired me, pumped me up...it still holds a permanent spot in my mood rotation. There are only a handful of people in the world that I don't know, but hold close to my heart, he is one of them. Thank you Zack. </div>kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-45543479415979282472011-10-25T11:11:00.003-04:002011-10-25T11:12:12.171-04:00Pledge of Resistance<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;"></span><br />
<div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
by Saul Williams</div>
<div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<br style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;" /></div>
<div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
We believe that as people living</div>
<div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
in the United States it is our</div>
<div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
responsibility to resist the injustices</div>
<div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
done by our government,</div>
<div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
in our names.</div>
<div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
Not in our name</div>
<div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
will you wage endless war</div>
<div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
there can be no more deaths</div>
<div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
no more transfusions</div>
<div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
of blood for oil.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
Not in our name</div>
<div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
will you invade countries</div>
<div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
bomb civilians, kill more children</div>
<div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
letting history take its course</div>
<div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
over the graves of the nameless.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
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Not in our name</div>
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will you erode the very freedoms</div>
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you have claimed to fight for.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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Not by our hands</div>
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will we supply weapons and funding</div>
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for the annihilation of families</div>
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on foreign soil.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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Not by our mouths</div>
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will we let fear silence us.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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Not by our hearts</div>
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will we allow whole peoples</div>
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or countries to be deemed evil.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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Not by our will</div>
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and Not in our name.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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WE PLEDGE RESISTANCE</div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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We pledge alliance with those</div>
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who have come under attack</div>
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for voicing opposition to the war</div>
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or for their religion or ethnicity.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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We pledge to make common cause</div>
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with the people of the world</div>
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to bring about justice,</div>
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freedom and peace.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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Another world is possible</div>
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and we pledge to make it real.</div>kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-52680435933426029332011-10-24T12:24:00.001-04:002011-10-24T12:27:30.419-04:00sacred spiral<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">find your center</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">find your center</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">find your center</span><br />
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">find the words</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">to unfold</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">without boundaries.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">find the space</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">to exist</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">without criticism.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">tune out the noise</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">move away from the disconnected</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">abandon the unloving.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">embrace all that moves you</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">be drawn in to the movement</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">vibe with the vibration.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">find your center</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">unplug</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">speak percussion</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">find the rhthym</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">that fills your isolation.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">find the beauty </span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">that soothes you.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">create,</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">bleed into the design.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">allow yourself to spiral into your core</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">at the speed of your own cadence.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">celebrate what you are</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">forgive what you are not.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">find your center</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">find your center</span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">find your center</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span></div>kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-84300617575586672942011-10-21T09:36:00.001-04:002011-10-21T09:38:02.006-04:00life on paper<br />
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">Its been a crazy month or so, I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve had two “break-ups”, one with Inara’s nursery school and another with a client. Both relationships were wearing me down, stressing me out and going against my grain. Both had positive aspects, but they just didn’t outweigh the negative and I decided, rather impulsively, to end both. It all felt sort of manic actually, so I have been waiting for the reality to set in that I made a bad decision...but two/three weeks in and both still feel like reasonable decisions. </span><br />
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">I am still struggling with the whole ‘stay at home’ mom role. I can easily identify my fear of reliance on a man, my fear of not being able to legitimize my professional and intellectual abilities, my fear of becoming obsolete in the professional world...its so tricky. I am 100% positive my presence and time with Inara is the most important use of my time and focus, but I have been so conditioned to weigh my worth on the sum of my professional abilities. My professional career and consequently, my financial independence has been a source of pride in me. Pride I understand to be superficial, pride that separates me, pride that I need to overcome. But as I’ve mentioned before, its has so defined me, that I cling to it, unable to imagine worth without it. </span><br />
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">The OCCUPY movement has become a big factor in our lives. We have been active at Freedom Plaza in DC, not sleeping there, but coming down on the weekends, participating, donating, supporting. I am so full of hope. Hope I haven’t felt in over a decade. I am channeling all my frustration into supporting the movement that I honestly believe can change the world if we direct ourselves appropriately. There is an awakening happening and I have been waiting for it for so long...I had lost faith that it might actually happen on a large scale...and now it is manifesting in intelligent, strong minded, focused people! There are many challenges, but I feel a shift coming all around me and it is uplifting.</span><br />
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">We adopted a cat... Two years ago, my wonderful 15 year old cat, kisapele, passed away from a tumor. Since then, I had convinced myself that I would never commit to more animals (we have a dog and a canary). But things play out funny sometimes. My son volunteers at the animal shelter. Everyone but me wanted a cat. I said, never, unless it was siamese (I grew up with a siamese) and only if we adopted. Literally, one day later, a siamese mix came into the shelter. She is beautiful and quirky and a welcome addition to our strange brew. Her name is Neela Shanti (blue peace) for her big blue eyes.</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1"><br /></span><br />
<span class="s1">So pretty much, life is good. Fall is creeping in and I feel grounded like the leaves, prepping to decompose into the earth of understanding.</span><br />
<span class="s1"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span></div>
<div class="p1">
<span class="s1">~peace, love & light~</span></div>
<div class="p2">
<span class="s1"></span></div>kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-13446387438146773622011-09-22T10:55:00.001-04:002011-09-22T10:57:29.229-04:00<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;">"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><br />I'll meet you there. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><br />When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><br />Ideas, language, and even the phrase 'eachother' doesn't make any sense." </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 14px;"><br />-Rumi</span>kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-56048171273427542452011-09-11T15:48:00.002-04:002011-09-11T15:51:01.849-04:00some thoughts on the day<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">So I guess everyone has their story about where they were, how they felt on the morning of 9/11 and how they have changed from it. My feelings about all the media madness, flag waving and vigils are conflicted. I understand and acknowledge the pain, but I resist the brainwashing. A lost life is a lost life, I can’t hold lost lives any higher in esteem than I hold the 6236 soldiers that have died since 2001, the lives of those across waters who die at our hand or the lives lost in natural disasters everywhere.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">But still, the images of that morning and the days after are imprinted on my soul. And I feel it is important for me to finally write down, if for no other reason than to share with my grandchildren. I was at work and was called back to the executive directors conference room. I walked into the room happy and in just a few seconds, felt myself melting into the floor. There were about ten others, watching silently in horror and then the second plane hit. Panic came over me, adrenaline starting pumping, My only thought is that I needed to be with my son. I left immediately and got to the school right before they decided that they were not going to release any kids. Still today, you do not have a right to pick your child up from school in the case of a disaster/emergency! Elan tells me they were watching in their classrooms. I couldn’t believe they did that, events such as these require parental guidance in my opinion. He was just 7! (reasons number 108 and 109 not to send your kids to public school) So we get home, curled up on the couch together watched the news. We were in shock. We couldn’t get through to our friends and family in NY. The pentagon got hit. Another plane is down in PA. I tried to comfort him but words failed and instead we just cried and snuggled and hoped the attacks were done. I don’t remember much of the days following, it felt like the news was always on somewhere. Soon, the warmth of people coming together, people reaching out to everyone, our shared grief. Quickly, the flags came out, on porches, on cars, on buildings. Emergency prep plans ensued. Then came anger, chest pounding. War became imminent. The world had changed. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">And after ten years, time hasn’t shaken this shadow, we’ve been locked into this dysfunctional state of patriotism and fear. Our psyches unable to heal properly. We have responded to terrorism with terrorism... internationally and domestically. At the expense of our sense of true american spirit, we have evolved into a new militarized nation. We spend billions if not trillions on this shift, meanwhile our economy spirals down the drain. Social systems that once made us great, are suddenly wasteful. Ideology that my grandparents came here for, is just to liberal. Where once we created and the whole world followed, now we fight. We have become destructive and have lost the pride in being productive. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">I know, I sound like a pessimistic, sentimentalist. I just remember a time when I was wearing a uniform, saluted the flag daily, was proud to be an American. I was just beginning to take my blinders off back then, so a lot of that bliss was ignorance. But still, since 9/11, I have refused to have a flag (either on my porch, on my car or on my body) and I don’t ever see myself getting over that. I have grown hard in my mistrust of government and lack of faith in the power of the people. I am a patriot. One that scrutinizes and questions everything, but one none the less. And I am ridiculously offended by the attempts to manipulate that patriotism. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">At the end of the day, I won’t even go to the place that says how we should have reacted and evolved, because the truth is...everything is perfect and I am learning to have faith in that. It is our lesson to bear witness to and suffer from so that we can grow.</span>kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-84346148149462416012011-08-19T10:09:00.002-04:002011-08-19T10:13:42.017-04:00Happy AnniversaryFive years ago today, Jay and I fell hopelessly in love. We were online friends for a year, and then at some point both of our situations changed and the conversations became different. While he was in Iraq we spent hours on the phone, writing and getting to know each other virtually. The depth of our questions and thoughts were intense, the sound of his voice gave me goosebumps, the poetry that flowed out of me was on fire. Finally we met face to face (8/19/06) , and I was nervous about what he would think of me, but I knew that I already loved him. The year that followed was such a beautiful dance inspired by destiny, love, magic and a need to be understood. The memories of all of this were both the foundation that has saved us through trying times and the glaring reminder of what we have since moved away from. Love grows, twists and changes while it survives. To say I am grateful is just not enough. But I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss the rush, the weightlessness beneath lips, the hyper vibration of new love. Of course its not all gloom, Jay has become my best friend, my strongest ally, my finest opponent, my biggest teacher and my daydreaming idealist partner. I was never taught, nor did I ever witness, what love evolves in to. My parents weren’t in love and the people around me who were, kept this knowledge to themselves. We are conditioned to seek the rush and then what? But what becomes when a couple survives pain, loss, disappointment and real life, is an amazing thing. I feel a part of something that I never knew I wanted. It has allowed me to grow and blossom into the woman I never knew I was or could be. Its amazing…Seven months after meeting we got engaged, five months after getting engaged, we got pregnant. Marriage plans stalled, money priorities shifted and being the people we are, we haven’t gotten around to it yet. Maybe we will, maybe we won’t. In my heart, we were married years ago by the transformation of our selves into us.<br />
<br />
Happy Anniversary!<br />
<br />
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kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-41312831382869866682011-08-19T08:56:00.002-04:002011-08-19T08:56:38.773-04:00A Dream Within A DreamBy Edgar Allen Poe<br />
<br />
<br />
Take this kiss upon the brow!<br />
And, in parting from you now,<br />
Thus much let me avow-<br />
You are not wrong, who deem<br />
That my days have been a dream;<br />
Yet if hope has flown away<br />
In a night, or in a day,<br />
In a vision, or in none,<br />
Is it therefore the less gone?<br />
All that we see or seem<br />
Is but a dream within a dream.<br />
<br />
I stand amid the roar<br />
Of a surf-tormented shore,<br />
And I hold within my hand<br />
Grains of the golden sand-<br />
How few! yet how they creep<br />
Through my fingers to the deep,<br />
While I weep- while I weep!<br />
O God! can I not grasp<br />
Them with a tighter clasp?<br />
O God! can I not save<br />
One from the pitiless wave?<br />
Is all that we see or seem<br />
But a dream within a dream? kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-44443652976311411472011-08-03T08:45:00.000-04:002011-08-03T08:45:05.349-04:00crabbya silent trickle<br />
down the spine<br />
anxiety spins<br />
its sticky crime<br />
wages war against my logic<br />
plays tricks on my sense of quiet<br />
and leaves a disgusted film <br />
on everything.kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-11898983926563774202011-07-28T09:07:00.004-04:002011-07-28T09:10:09.243-04:00a conundrum of enormous proportionsEarlier this month, the Dalai Lama spoke in Washington DC and I was lucky enough to attend with my son. I have seen him speak many times over the years, but never in person. I was moved, he is Yoda and you can’t not be moved by his humble presence. He spoke about "world peace through inner peace" and I love that, it is truth. If just 25% of the world could find peace within ourselves, there would be an inevitable shift in the world.<br />
<br />
In the last month or so, my reoccurring theme of focus is poverty. Here in the US and globally. I am not a sheep hiding under a red white and blue flag, I am aware of what is occurring in the world. Western games of domination, strong-arming and just straight up stealing. Leaving a vast majority of third world residents living of less than a dollar a day. It is shameful. I am broken inside over it. It is as if someone is raising my hand against my will to kill someone….slowly, maliciously.<br />
<br />
I’ve often wondered what the Dalai Lama thinks about this dilemma of poverty, inflicted upon others by western governments. How is an average person, living in one of these western countries, to deal with the weight and guilt of such infliction? I may not purposefully direct or intend it, but my tax dollars support it. So, when we are discussing compassion and being one with our brothers and sisters, how do we digest our governments actions against them, being that they are indeed, rooted in our own inactions?<br />
<br />
I understand, we change the world with our compassion, one person at a time. But how can we not think globally when 16,000+ children die everyday due to hunger related illnesses? We can do what we can do, but its still our karma. Its still our responsibility. We allow the beast to live and prosper on the backs of our brothers and sisters everywhere. We allow the beast to influence our love, allow them to distract us from their injustice, allow them to dictate all of our futures. I want to slay the beast and it is hard for me to think about feeding one person, when tomorrow there will be thousands more.<br />
<br />
I am a fighting Buddhist. I would gladly take on the karma of violence if I knew it would benefit the many, if I knew I would be leveling the playing field, if I knew that it was just. But, yes, indeed, I am naïve. I have superhero dreams of gathering up all the 1%’ers, pilfering their bank accounts and having them serve the poor.<br />
<br />
And as I look out my suburban windows, nine miles from the world bank and the IMF…I am frozen. Stuck. Afraid that I am powerless. Scared of what may come should I fight. Selfishly thinking of what my family can loose. It is an conundrum of enormous proportions.kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-33653024332138349962011-06-14T15:43:00.000-04:002011-06-14T15:43:51.314-04:00napkin notesI am not here to please you,<br />
to help you sleep at night,<br />
to help ease your need to control.<br />
I am not striving for your perfection,<br />
nor my own.<br />
I am trying to find a balance,<br />
that has little to do <br />
with your judgment,<br />
your fears, <br />
or your inability to understand.<br />
I am me. Not you.<br />
Born into my life. Not yours.<br />
To walk my path, <br />
often slightly off <br />
or blatantly askew.<br />
Sometimes hermetic,<br />
other times flamboyant.<br />
I am trying to be kind <br />
and compassionate<br />
and bold in everything.<br />
But,<br />
I keep getting knocked down,<br />
kicked and clucked at <br />
for things beside the point.<br />
Live your life,<br />
it’s the only one you should rely on changing.<br />
The only one obligated to listen.<br />
Everything else is just noise…<br />
Ranting,<br />
Finger pointing,<br />
Ransom notes,<br />
A character hoax<br />
In a book I would never read. <br />
So do you,<br />
Because you need it.<br />
I am warm and comfy in the odd house<br />
that raises strange birds and quirky chicks.<br />
I don’t want to fit in,<br />
blend in<br />
or even participate in the madness<br />
of A-alike, B-alike or C-alike.<br />
I am living in the realm somewhere past Z.<br />
Hanging on to the cliff of nothingness<br />
laughing. <br />
<br />
*i found a napkin in a purse I used last summer with this scribbled all over. I don't remember who/what inspired the feeling, but I love finding little pieces of myself like that*kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-24874773218465335862011-06-08T08:58:00.001-04:002011-06-08T09:10:11.645-04:00womenIm feeling mean,<br />
spiteful and caught up in a treason filled dream<br />
where so-called friends tip off the enemy<br />
and exchange whispers of my shitty personality.<br />
Overwhelmed and paranoid,<br />
while I whittle my stock down to crumbs<br />
to sort through<br />
shiny gems<br />
tumbled stones<br />
and plastic bits of bitches<br />
that keep you close to observe,<br />
instead of love.<br />
I’m uncut and jagged<br />
it takes the investment of time to reveal my luster<br />
I may not be eager to spill my beans to make you feel comfortable.<br />
And you mistake that for arrogance,<br />
a guarded snotty façade<br />
in which you are being judged.<br />
The truth is...<br />
I am prudent with women,<br />
I learned early how to tiptoe,<br />
strategically assess moods, vibes and intents.<br />
Easily broken,<br />
I love genuinely and deeply.<br />
I am unable to casually connect.<br />
The truth is…<br />
I prefer the loyalty of men<br />
Where discretion is valued,<br />
Ripping yourself open is not.<br />
The truth is…<br />
I shouldn’t care if you like me<br />
I should know that its your loss,<br />
And leave it alone<br />
Because to you,<br />
A stone is just a stone.<br />
<br />
<br />
This past year, my daughter has been going to this cooperative nursery school for 2.5 hours a day, 2 days a week. The parents "co-op" a few times a month, where they are in the class room helping the teachers, cleaning and such. You also have to participate as a member, serving on committees, events, etc. Its a great school, a great idea and I love the kids. The parents...not so much. I haven't felt this "unliked" since high school. I am a generally warm person, always trying to put others at ease, but I don't put myself out there much. Im not always comfortable with new people, but don't usually have trouble, but here...man...its like I have the word BITCH written on my forehead. And the only reason it really bothers me, is because it involves my child. I don't get it...really. <br />
<br />
Regardless, I signed up for next year (because Inara loves it!). Maybe I need a mantra to keep me lifted out of the bullshit :)kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-54497854964697817532011-05-28T10:01:00.003-04:002011-05-28T10:02:20.445-04:00Gil Scott-Heron ~ RIP~ 1949-2011<b>Winter in America<br />
</b><br />
From the Indians who welcomed the pilgrims<br />
And to the buffalo who once ruled the plains<br />
Like the vultures circling beneath the dark clouds<br />
Looking for the rain<br />
Looking for the rain<br />
<br />
Just like the cities staggered on the coastline<br />
Living in a nation that just can't stand much more<br />
Like the forest buried beneath the highway<br />
Never had a chance to grow<br />
Never had a chance to grow<br />
<br />
And now it's winter<br />
Winter in America<br />
Yes and all of the healers have been killed<br />
Or sent away, yeah<br />
But the people know, the people know<br />
It's winter<br />
Winter in America<br />
And ain't nobody fighting<br />
'Cause nobody knows what to say<br />
Save your soul, Lord knows<br />
From Winter in America<br />
<br />
The Constitution<br />
A noble piece of paper<br />
With free society<br />
Struggled but it died in vain<br />
And now Democracy is ragtime on the corner<br />
Hoping for some rain<br />
Looks like it's hoping<br />
Hoping for some rain<br />
<br />
And I see the robins<br />
Perched in barren treetops<br />
Watching last-ditch racists marching across the floor<br />
But just like the peace sign that vanished in our dreams<br />
Never had a chance to grow<br />
Never had a chance to grow<br />
<br />
And now it's winter<br />
It's winter in America<br />
And all of the healers have been killed<br />
Or been betrayed<br />
Yeah, but the people know, people know<br />
It's winter, Lord knows<br />
It's winter in America<br />
And ain't nobody fighting<br />
Cause nobody knows what to save<br />
Save your souls<br />
From Winter in America<br />
<br />
And now it's winter<br />
Winter in America<br />
And all of the healers done been killed or sent away<br />
Yeah, and the people know, people know<br />
It's winter<br />
Winter in America<br />
And ain't nobody fighting<br />
Cause nobody knows what to save<br />
And ain't nobody fighting<br />
Cause nobody knows, nobody knows<br />
And ain't nobody fighting<br />
Cause nobody knows what to save<br />
<br />
<b>Home is Where the Hatred Is</b><br />
<br />
A junkie walking through the twilight<br />
I’m on my way home<br />
I left three days ago,<br />
but noone seems to know i’m gone<br />
Home is where the hatred is<br />
Home is filled with pain and it,<br />
might not be such a bad idea if i never, never went home again<br />
Stand as far away from me as you can and ask me why<br />
hang on to your rosary beads<br />
close your eyes to watch me die<br />
you keep saying, kick it, quit it, kick it, quit it<br />
God, but did you ever try<br />
to turn your sick soul inside out<br />
so that the world, so that the world<br />
can watch you die<br />
Home is where i live inside my white powder dreams<br />
home was once an empty vacuum that’s filled now with my silent screams<br />
home is where the needle marks<br />
try to heal my broken heart<br />
and it might not be such a bad idea<br />
if i never, if i never went home again.<br />
<br />
<b>Running</b><br />
<br />
Because I always feel like running <br />
Not away, because there is no such place <br />
Because if there was, I would have found it by now <br />
Because it's easier to run, <br />
Easier than staying and finding out you're the only one who didn't run <br />
Because running will be the way your life and mine will be described, <br />
As in "the long run" <br />
Or as in having "given someone a run for his money" <br />
Or as in "running out of time" <br />
Because running makes me look like everyone else, though I hope there will ever be cause for that <br />
Because I will be running in the other direction, not running for cover <br />
Because if I knew where cover was, I would stay there and never have to run for it <br />
Not running for my life, because I have to be running for something of more value to be running and not in fear <br />
Because the thing I fear cannot be escaped, eluded, avoided, hidden from, protected from, gotten away from, <br />
Not without showing the fear as I see it now <br />
Because closer, clearer, no sir, nearer <br />
Because of you and because of that nice <br />
That you quietly, quickly be causing <br />
And because you're going to see me run soon and because you're going to know why I'm running then <br />
You'll know then <br />
Because I'm not going to tell you now<br />
<br />
<br />
everything I love in an artist - rest in peace, may you find the dimension where the revolution is no longer necessary.kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-72315093529356508452011-05-18T15:27:00.000-04:002011-05-18T15:27:12.450-04:00*patting myself on the back*Almost year ago on June 7th, a friend took a picture of me that I hated and launched a revolution!<br />
<br />
I had my son early, I was 21 and my body bounced back pretty quickly. I had my daughter when I was 35, it was a difficult/complicated pregnancy, a very ripped apart delivery and I spent 2 years nursing her. At 37, my body was wrecked LOL, seriously. After I stopped nursing, I quickly lost 10-15 pounds, but I wasn’t happy with my shape. My energy was pretty low and my motivation was zero, until I saw that picture. <br />
<br />
Since then, I have committed to making exercise a part of my life. It wasn’t about loosing weight, it was about regaining control and strength. Three weeks early, I have reached a pretty big milestone. In the past 11 months, I have walked 500 miles (805 kilometers)! That’s more 1.3 million additional steps, about an average of 12 miles per week. Now, I walk, run, do core and strength training at least 4 times per week. I make time for it, it gives me perspective and burns some of my restless energy better than yoga…its good stuff.<br />
<br />
So today, I am celebrating! To my health …cheers :)kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-23438996905843348022011-05-16T09:48:00.001-04:002011-05-16T09:48:30.882-04:00The SaintThere is no suffering for the one<br />
who has completed the journey, <br />
who is freed from sorrow, <br />
who has freed oneself on all sides, <br />
who has thrown off all chains.<br />
<br />
The thoughtful exert themselves; <br />
they do not delight in a home; <br />
like swans who have left their lake, <br />
they leave their house and home.<br />
<br />
Those who have no accumulations, who eat properly, <br />
who have perceived release and unconditioned freedom, <br />
their path is difficult to understand, <br />
like that of birds in the sky.<br />
<br />
Those whose passions are stilled, <br />
who are indifferent to pleasure, <br />
who have perceived release and unconditioned freedom, <br />
their path is difficult to understand, <br />
like that of birds in the sky.<br />
<br />
Even the gods admire one whose senses are controlled, <br />
like horses well tamed by the driver, <br />
who is free from pride and free from appetites. <br />
Such a dutiful one who is tolerant like the earth, <br />
who is firm like a pillar, <br />
who is like a lake without mud: <br />
no new births are in store for this one.<br />
<br />
One's thought is calm; <br />
calm is one's word and one's action<br />
when one has obtained freedom by true knowledge<br />
and become peaceful. <br />
The one who is free from gullibility, <br />
who knows the uncreated, who has severed all ties, <br />
removed all temptations, renounced all desires, <br />
is the greatest of people.<br />
<br />
In a village or in a forest, in a valley or on the hills, <br />
wherever saints live, that is a place of joy. <br />
Forests are delightful; where others find no joy, <br />
there the desireless will find joy, <br />
for they do not seek the pleasures of the senses.<br />
<br />
- Lord Buddhakisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-76536808777362345552011-04-26T16:50:00.003-04:002011-04-27T08:40:25.727-04:00egoMy father is a chauvinist, always has been. Vertically challenged, with an intellectual case of short mans disease, he is dismissive to women and undermines their authority at every imagined slight. Graduating from high school, he told me that college wasn’t for me, that perhaps I was better suited for secretary school. At the age of 19, I joined the Navy, he told me I wouldn’t make it. I stopped speaking to him for a few years and there are days lately when I want to cut him out again due to his disrespect.<br />
<br />
I am an over achiever. I am fiercely self sufficient. I am fearless and brave to the point of arrogant confidence. Anything that supposedly cannot be done, I will do and will silently throw it around in my aura of “up yours”. I do not boast, I no longer pound my chest in pride…these days Im content on watching people squirm in their need to size me up. <br />
<br />
So, needless to say, the two are linked. I have strove for my fathers approval blindly my whole life and didn’t realize his chauvinism until the last five years or so. My over achieving and desire to prove him wrong has branded me, molded me. And now, as I routinely find myself chaffed by his disrespectful and dismissive comments, I realize finally, that I threaten him. A coward, a small man with insecure thought processes…I should pity him. Instead, this revelation makes me tilt my head waaaaaay back and laugh from the depths of my core. All the pain he inflicted on my sense of who I am, all the unjust judgment, all the personal affronts…they were just his way of posturing. <br />
<br />
The number one enemy of compassion, is the ego.<br />
<br />
My ego is stemmed from his chauvinism. <br />
My ego is why his chauvinism hurts me. <br />
My ego prevents me from forgiving either one of my parents.<br />
My ego stands in my way like a fortress, it taints my progress.<br />
My ego is silent and loud at the same time, it colors every action, every intent. <br />
<br />
Conceptually, I understand how to rid myself of the obvious forms of attachment, but I grip onto my ego like a life preserver. Who would I be without the ego that has shaped and defined me?kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-71977629989741370432011-04-19T14:44:00.000-04:002011-04-19T14:44:01.374-04:00green colored glassesIts funny how spring plays tricks on the mind…everywhere I look there is green, creeping into every crevice, filling in the air between branches, gracefully carpeting every hill, every field…just a few weeks ago the stark barren contrast was a depressing ode to loss…now I can barely remember the feeling. I look out and expect to see a trace of it somewhere, but thankfully it has retreated. It’s a testament to the power of rejuvenation. A witness to the minds the ability to forget and discard the unpleasantness. Spring is bursting at the seams and with it, my hope, my gratitude, my spirits, all full and ripe. Yes, YES!! Indeed.kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-11850968111770435592011-04-15T14:12:00.002-04:002011-04-15T21:09:19.397-04:00stalethe air I breathe is full of naked moments left behind in a fire, <br />
charred, the journals of my once inspired mind fell to dust. <br />
now more of a nuisance,<br />
a nagging tug at my inability to create magic.<br />
it falls around and lingers on every breath, <br />
choking the whispers of my forgotten intuitive prose. <br />
the neglect I feel from myself is glaring.<br />
to offer myself upon the letters that produce words, <br />
which build lines, that create pieces of me,<br />
is no longer a part of the air I breathe. <br />
the science of my charm sits un-soothed, <br />
blistered and raw.<br />
the urge ever present, but the flow never expressed.<br />
defeat collects in the absence of encouragement,<br />
it pools and assembles war against the pen <br />
using insecure tactics and bindings that pinch your nerve to try anyway. <br />
I yearn for the community that previously made me whole...<br />
full of likeminded artists who filled the air I breathe<br />
with vibrant colors and imaginative rhythm.<br />
sated my lungs with purpose that bled to my fingers instinctually, <br />
possessed with the need to release and engrave my emotion on the page.<br />
but not today,<br />
not in this fade that has become my insipid existence <br />
starved for oxygen <br />
greedy for a view outside myself <br />
to rejuvenate this stale air I breathe.kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-91121362432796753612011-04-05T12:26:00.000-04:002011-04-05T12:26:44.271-04:00April Showersits another rainy, cold day and Inara and I are spending the afternoon snuggled up on the couch watching Spirited Away for the 112th time. Im fighting off sinking moods and melancholy mindsets with chocolate and then end up pushing myself to hard on the treadmill. Obsessing about the physical is the one thing that trumps my mental.<br />
<br />
Thought it would be a good day to be inspired ...<br />
<br />
Caged Bird<br />
BY MAYA ANGELOU<br />
<br />
A free bird leaps<br />
on the back of the wind <br />
and floats downstream <br />
till the current ends<br />
and dips his wing<br />
in the orange sun rays<br />
and dares to claim the sky.<br />
<br />
But a bird that stalks<br />
down his narrow cage<br />
can seldom see through<br />
his bars of rage<br />
his wings are clipped and <br />
his feet are tied<br />
so he opens his throat to sing.<br />
<br />
The caged bird sings <br />
with a fearful trill <br />
of things unknown <br />
but longed for still <br />
and his tune is heard <br />
on the distant hill <br />
for the caged bird <br />
sings of freedom.<br />
<br />
The free bird thinks of another breeze<br />
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees<br />
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn bright lawn<br />
and he names the sky his own<br />
But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams <br />
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream <br />
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied <br />
so he opens his throat to sing.<br />
<br />
The caged bird sings <br />
with a fearful trill <br />
of things unknown <br />
but longed for still <br />
and his tune is heard <br />
on the distant hill <br />
for the caged bird <br />
sings of freedom.kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-17848388333095355762011-03-26T11:51:00.000-04:002011-03-26T11:51:00.403-04:00Dependent Origination"he who sees dependent origination sees the Dharma and he who sees the Dharma sees the Buddha."<br />
<br />
"The progression of causes and conditions is the reality which applies to all things, from the natural environment, which is an external, physical condition, to the events of human society, ethical principles, life events and the happiness and suffering which manifest in our own minds. <br />
<br />
These systems of causal relationship are part of the one natural truth. Our happiness within this natural system depends on having some knowledge of how it works and practicing correctly within it, through addressing problems on the personal, social, and environmental levels. <br />
<br />
Given that all things are interconnected, and all are affecting each other, success in dealing with the world lies in creating harmony within it."<br />
<br />
"The cycle of Dependent Origination is a description of a natural process, not a path of practice. However, the first set of right and wrong practices described above describes practice in terms of the cycle of Dependent Origination. Is there a contradiction here? It may be answered that the Dependent Origination cycle illustrated here (and it is only illustrated as a form of practice in this one Sutta) seeks to describe practical application. The Commentators to this Sutta ask the question: ignorance may be a condition for good actions, or merit (puññabhisankhara), or it may serve to generate the state of highly stable concentration (aneñjabhisankhara); why then is it said to be wrong practice? Answering their question, the Commentators state that when people are motivated by a desire to be or to get something, no matter what they may do -- whether they develop the five higher knowledges (abhiñña) or the eight attainments (samapatti) -- it is all wrong practice. On the other hand, those who are motivated by an aspiration for Nibbana, who are aiming for relinquishment, or the liberated mind, rather than attaining or obtaining something, will always have right practice, even when doing such minor actions as making offerings"<br />
<br />
<br />
Dependent Origination has always made me feel like I am stuck in circles, my mind refusing to be pinned down to a true grasping. Seriously, I've been doing this for 20+ years, at what point am I going to get this!?kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-74218592381335516972011-03-24T21:30:00.000-04:002011-03-24T21:30:57.997-04:00non dualitylast week I was heavy with fever and deep thoughts...I started thinking that if the universe is perfect, containing just as much positive and negative in its balance, then positive can never overcome negative, they merely exist in unison. by feeding positivity, you then also feed negativity...and vice versa.<br />
<br />
and if you are feeding both simultaneously, are they not the same animal? Of course they are. There is no separation. It exists, as do we, a part of the whole. <br />
<br />
From the Upanishads:<br />
<br />
"Now this self, verily, is the world of all beings. In so far as he gives shelter and food to men, he becomes the world of men. In so far as he gives grass and water to the animals, he becomes the world of animals. In so far as beasts and birds, even to the ants find a living in his houses he becomes their world. Verily, as one wishes non-injury for his own world, so all beings wish non-injury for him who has this knowledge.”<br />
<br />
And then, when I think about the Qabalah Tree of Life, the one thing that always stuck with me was the fact that we are all ether, we just need to stop fooling around with the trickery of ones mind:<br />
<br />
"The you that you think is you is not you. It is a dream you. In fact, the you that you think is you is a dreamer inside a dreamer Inside a dreamer inside a dreamer. You are the King of the universe who has fallen asleep and is dreaming he is the Queen who has fallen asleep and is dreaming she is the Prince, who has fallen asleep and is dreaming he is a sleeping Princess." ~ The Chicken Qabalah of Rabbi Lamed Ben Clifford<br />
<br />
Are we so fooled by our 'intelligence'? <br />
<br />
And once we fully accept non dualistic thoughts as an optional mind frame, do we not truly transcend? <br />
<br />
If the universe is perfect, then we have nothing to fear...?<br />
<br />
"If anyone listens to this discourse and is neither filled with alarm nor awe nor dread, be it known that such a one is of remarkable achievement."<br />
<br />
but then what is our responsibility? what is our contribution? to love the whole...to embrace the whole and contribute to the whole as your divinity dictates?<br />
<br />
I need a guru to help me sort through :)kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-58590998802718524842011-03-24T14:41:00.002-04:002011-03-24T14:41:56.300-04:00whats next?There are robins singing at my window<br />
Spring emerging<br />
reaching up through the earth<br />
more life, less cold.<br />
<br />
There are weapons being fired<br />
wars rising, <br />
falling from the sky<br />
more strife, less life.<br />
<br />
There are lies pouring from the air waves<br />
propaganda ensues,<br />
playing on numb minds<br />
more greed, less truth.<br />
<br />
There are winds calling for change<br />
vibrations rising…or falling<br />
Supermoons, tsunamis, tectonic shifts, cosmic alignments.<br />
<br />
and…the trees are falling <br />
their skeletal remains laid across sprouting green.<br />
<br />
and…the sky is filled unnaturally<br />
with mechanic butterflies who visit when we sleep.<br />
<br />
and…the world is filled with pending doom<br />
It quietly attacks us<br />
while we paint ourselves happy.<br />
<br />
Everything is heightened<br />
like hairs standing up,<br />
the static pull<br />
has every living thing in a state of <br />
Whats Next?<br />
<br />
But…<br />
There are robins singing at my window<br />
And soft murmurs on warm breezes<br />
There are daffodils blooming<br />
And trees covered in sweet red buds<br />
And the green is spreading in the peripheral<br />
And the luxuries and promise of Spring flaunts itself at my feet<br />
While my heart bleeds<br />
and the vibration penetrates my vision<br />
dreading whats next.kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2252808643433074868.post-18440103438137957452011-03-07T09:13:00.003-05:002011-03-07T14:13:23.215-05:00far“and the masks, that the monsters wear, to feed upon their prey”<br />
<br />
so far fetched,<br />
so far off,<br />
so unlike your reality<br />
<br />
The truth of you is toxic<br />
Overly sedated,<br />
judgmental<br />
and bitter.<br />
<br />
The truth of your discontent<br />
lies somewhere in the folds<br />
that barrier you,<br />
and enfold your pain.<br />
<br />
so far gone<br />
so far away<br />
so sad to watch.<br />
<br />
And the truth<br />
for me<br />
is revealing itself<br />
at our every encounter.<br />
You and I no longer connect.<br />
You and I don’t hear the same things.<br />
Don’t vibe right,<br />
Don’t have much in common,<br />
other than the years.<br />
<br />
One by one,<br />
the players fall<br />
The king,<br />
The queen<br />
The jester<br />
The nursemaid<br />
And I am unable to recognize<br />
their decent until I have been pulled into it.<br />
My loyalty is blind<br />
My empathy is wide<br />
and each of you<br />
exploits my innards<br />
to ease your own pain.<br />
<br />
To view this circle from the outside<br />
we are all poisonous,<br />
venomous beings<br />
careening around love and hate.<br />
<br />
I choose to self preserve.<br />
I choose distance.<br />
<br />
It is no longer my desire to get you to get me.<br />
It is no longer my expectation to get love from blood.<br />
<br />
so far fetched,<br />
so far off,<br />
so far gone.<br />
<br />
Your masks are slipping.<br />
I see your truth.<br />
And finally I see how your truth,<br />
infects his truth,<br />
and her truth,<br />
and our truth.<br />
<br />
Go ahead,<br />
Throw your knives.<br />
Get your jabs in. <br />
CREATE what you will.<br />
I am no victim.<br />
<br />
I have wings…<br />
pulled by magnetic forces<br />
to fulfill my destiny<br />
<br />
I have wings…<br />
that vibrate fearlessly<br />
and open new dimensions.<br />
<br />
Far away from you.kisapelehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03027182121017585852noreply@blogger.com3