well then

first post on blogger...

so I've had an easyjournal blog for almost 8 years and used it as an outlet that I shared with people online that I knew through a few writing boards. This journal gave me the opportunity to create without judgement...like exposing yourself to strangers was somehow less invasive because they never met me face to face. I made a mistake a few years ago, I fell in love and gave this person a link to my journal. I wanted him to read my poetry, I wanted to be honest and vulnerable with him, I wanted him to know my thoughts and my thought processes. But, a lot happens in love doesn't it? We are still together, but trying to create on that journal has made me mute...I can no longer freely express myself there. To make it worse, he shared the link with friends and now they occassionally read...so how am I supposed to pour out my emotion on our latest drama? How am I supposed to be verbally intimate with myself and my fantasies when people take things literally and want to know whats going on with "us". I haven't been able to really write creatively in over a year for many reasons. I miss the anonymous abandon of my old online journal and so...here I am.