Slave

Frozen in time
Frozen am I
To release
I hesitate
While my mind swirls around the complex and the frightening
I’ve locked up my voice
With depression and anger,
And the thunderstruck realization of the world I live in
Frozen and fragile
Thin ice
While my water rages on underneath
Pressure building but no release
Is this a decent into a place I don’t want to be
A place of hurt feelings and obsessive distractions
A place of discord and blindness
Veiled under self-absorption
I am bigger than that,
Stronger than that
I reach for the hand of my internal resolve
And it fails me
My head stuffed with cotton
My hands tied with thorny vines
And I scoff at myself, with my self inflicted misery
Pull out
Thaw out
Reach out
Before the dark water reaches my lungs

Frozen in time
Frozen am I
This is fear
A hopeless fear
One nation under siege
One world under destruction
And I stand here
Knowing how to speak but refusing to do so
Knowing how to be the light, but refusing to let it flourish
Refusing to let it spread
Wrapped up in this heavy fabric
This cocoon of my fear
I am trapped by my own consciousness
The power of the mind has squashed my resilience
Fooled me into believing the hype
That I am nothing more than a physical vessel
That matter is omnipotent
That all that exists in this physical existence
Is more important than…anything
Foolishness is the thought
That remains trapped in matter

Frozen in time
Frozen am I
Absorbing the struggles of others
Allowing the strife to penetrate my spirit
Hyper sensitive
In a over stimulating world of despair
Blinders keep me ‘normal’
They also insult my sense of fairness
My need for justice
My need for rebellion
The ever elusive balance
Knowing and caring and caring to know
I have to know
I don’t know how to not care
My mind is doing pretzels
To thwart my efforts of figuring this out
Of finding a way to know and not be overwhelmed.
I am startled by how impressionable I feel
Naked
With a thousand currents of negative vibe shooting at me
Chaffed
Burned by the ice of my surrounded consciousness

Frozen in time
Frozen am I
‘none but ourselves can free our minds’
Freedom
Freedom lives and breathes only in the ability
To control your mind
A passionate expression is perhaps a flawed thought.
A vibrant rebellion is perhaps an illusion.
Unless it is happening in your own consciousness.
And that is the best description for this brain freeze
My mind and my soul are battling
They are both so eager to succeed
That neither realizes they are one.
The mind is bamboozled by matter,
seduced by it even.
The soul is frustrated by its inability to penetrate.
…and I am too…
Frustrated in this state of illusion and confusion
Without some guidance or perspective
No sign or path has led me to sustainable warmth
And that is the thing for which I seek.
Self created,
Self sustainable
Self empowered
Warmth.

The curious thing is my knowing where I have to go
But refusing to go there.
I am a slave.